3 months. 3 months passed. passed. passing is what I should answer to people asking me 'How are you doing?'. days pass. the things I do. they pass. people. i meet with. conversations. inside my ears. and outside they pass. the time. the tasks. the training. the food. My daughter. Still there. Yet. Buried, but many many many others follow now. So soon enough she will pass too. Moved and mixed with the earth to make space to other dead babies. They will pass too. flowers. dead flowers. new flowers.
Nightmares. They stay. Loyal companions. Something permanent. And the pain. The missing. The rage. The robbery. Maybe I am the one keeping a good hold on them. Something that can stay around of all that passing.
Ida Saoirse Scherer,
our first baby girl, who was born and died at 16+5 weeks on the 30th November 2017.
Resources about Termination for Medical Reasons
Sister-friend Emily writing for her first son Amari Regan (Fragile X Syndrome)
Katrina's blog for her second daughter April Rey (Trisomy 13)