Dear Amari Regan,
today is your due date and I'm feeling to write you few words.
Who am I to you, people may wonder?
I'm biologically nothing to you, I'm not blood of your blood, but you are part of my heart since few months.
Your name echoes in my conversations, I think about you and the impact of your existence every day.
We never met and oceans, miles, countries separate our bodies. You found your way across those oceans, miles, countries to find me and Ida and to make me and your mum find each other.
You found your way across those oceans, miles, countries and even through my pain and grief, to make me feel your presence, comfort me and meet me in a deeper dimension than the physical one.
Thus, I can say i did meet you Amari Regan. And I allow myself to call me your auntie-friend, like your mum is my sister-friend since few months.
Your existence is so important already that precedes many months your due date! You really wanted to make a difference as soon as possible and you did.
Let me tell you, a due date is almost never the real birth date of a baby. Therefore, I consider this full month of January your month, or better the month in which in another dimension you were supposed to be born.
I ask you to be close to your parents this month and always Amari, show yourself and meet them in your present, different dimension. Stay with them and remind them you ARE, now and always. That you love them and you whispered them in your own way what was best for them.
I crocheted you a blue rose, symbol of love, prosperity and immortality, to make you memory and honor your existence, until the day I will be visiting you and bring you real flowers at your burial place, until the day I will be meeting you in your same dimension.
I ask you Amari, to keep bringing advice to your family and to help all the other children like you, in this other-dimension, to find their way through and connect with their mums and dads.
Thank you my dear nephew-friend, thank you with all my heart.
You will never be forgotten,
I love you,
Ida Saoirse Scherer,
our first baby girl, who was born and died at 16+5 weeks on the 30th November 2017.
Resources about Termination for Medical Reasons
Sister-friend Emily writing for her first son Amari Regan (Fragile X Syndrome)
Katrina's blog for her second daughter April Rey (Trisomy 13)